I dunno how to tell my own ecstasy to this..........

After keep thinking and thinking all day long, walking in KL streets to ease my pain I realize something that I should known earlier! All these days, I was pursuing my dream, my passion, my ambition to become a successful animator but you know what, in order to one of them I forgot that I had already drifted away from what I was not supposed to worship! - MONEY!!! I was dumbstruck to this moment! There is a time when the feeling of despair starts to engulf me, I deny the creator himself! Something that I was never done in my own life! I was angry as to such omnipotent and omniscient god he robs my away my dreams. I was hopeless, started to curse myself and hoped that every minute there is a chance for me to suicide! Seriously! Of course, I enrolled in college 2 times yet, failed in both! Not because I can't continue my work but for the lack of my social skills and fundings.

How could I be so STUPID! It was me who dream to become an animator in order to enlighten this dark world in rightful ways yet, I become a person who was nothing but a "perfection seeker!". I become animator, get the diploma get the work, for what?? For MONEY!!!!! How could I being so foolishly tempted by those evil Shadavars that turn me to nothing than a WORLDLY SEEKER! No more LIES anymore! Money is actually obtainable! I can do a lot of things for money but for my dreams??? NO! Dreams and my survival is different! They should be separated! Who cares for a great animator who later bowed to money, wasting his talent for NOTHING! BEASTFUL NEEDS IS NOTHING!

How could I, who vows never to obey the Shadavars rebells to my most beloved lover? HOW COULD I! Yet....he accept....he enlighten me....he show me the truth! FORGIVE ME MY LORD!

Since this day I am no longer concern about diplomas, degrees or some stupid shit that was nothing but a license to veil the human's evil side! The true designer animators, artist doesn't care much his/her stupid rolls of paper but their talents! By the way, who know if I got my degree, I got worked in some evil company shit that cares nothing but money, turning me away from my objectives.....NO! High flaming effigies for that!.

I was planning to just work in just a simple job that is enough to feed me. Btw, all these years I was living alone....all attempts to let me gave my love is hopeless so....why bother for other people right? Who needs a love when you know it is only fulfilling your BIOLOGICAL senses! Who needs family when you that all wars and treacheries in this world is started by a single family! Who cares for you when you know that you can't even handle your OWN!

Yes......so be it....My new life.....My dreams is only for you my lord, these filthy will never get it, only for YOU!

May was right......

May was right..........

And you will be always in my heart , always.................................................








----------------------------About The Daydreamers animation---------------------------------

Instead for rushingly doing it in just 1 minute Cincai work, I want to make it as the whole full length animation instead! NO JOKING! Since I gave the "mainstream" way to become an animator, I just wanna do an animation that is INDEPENDENT,OPEN and FREE of stoopid CAPITALIST ideals that I hate! The truth must be told!